Well well

My friend, who is in a relationship and wonderful but so underestimated, and my other friend who is quite dear to me were talking about how this guy got his girl a bouquet and they were just joking saying it was probably like their first month, and how that was pathetic. Well, the guy in the relationship said that. Then my other friend was like "Well....for high school, that's a big deal." and they all agreed or whatever. I wanted to tell him it wasn't. I mean, what people do you hang out with? Yeah it is a lot of the time but often times it's also not uncommon. Sheesh. It made me think that he probably things dating is overrated in high school or he doesn't want to have one 'cause he's afraid and thinks it could go wrong. :/ eh. He was never really interested in girls anyways, seemingly asexual and so oblivious to everything. I still love him though.

Is it true? A month isn't that big of a deal. He should seriously start, um, noticing things.


OH. So my friend told me today you never say anything hurtful to your mother because she can "f*ck up your life"....which I guess it's true sadly. Yesterday I just wrote a letter with the truth about a lot of things and I'll be honest, if I were a mother and read it I would cry. And I meant every single word, even now, it's really horrible though. Maybe I wouldn't say it now though, I was debating whether or not to last night 'cause it could've changed everything. I wish it did, as unstable and bad as it could go. I didn't say everything. We should go into that later. I know as a teen my mentality and view is not the same as it will be as when I look back on this in 20 years, but I want to keep these things true. She doesn't realize I don't do this or feel this only in mood swings or when I'm angry but it's consistent and I can support it. And will continue to.