From time to time I'll have different 'projects' - or people I want to know more about, usually want to get to know, occasionally have unlying feelings for but thats irrelevant, and basically people I want to see the unobvious in, their hidden sides, know their ways and such.
I love all these people and always loom up to them so "project" doesn't really fit but I really do admire and respect them. Previously my projects were upperclassmen who now I'm friends with (projects cannot be friends, they're like a pre-friend thing for people that's it takes more time to get to know and be friends with - oh yeah, that's another characteristic of them) so now it doesn't matter as much for those upperclassmen but if I need to I'll pull out the information. A freshman was also one, probably the only one where the underlying feelings were important, but I gave up on that (oh yeah, if the friendship is futile i have to give up :( it's not so futile anymore but it isn't a big priority) so now I have two more. Added one today, but I realize we'll be friends faster than I thought but I can still study them!
The problem is who do you talk about this with?!! You just can't! Who would care so much about them??? It's useful when one of my friends wants to know about someone and I have information I've gathered subconsciously just from being around them that I can analyze quickly and give, the deepest parts are hard to discuss though. Especially since the people that have the potential to hold that convo with me are either the person themselves, hate the person, don't know the person, or are in a weird relationship to do so.
But these would be good conversations!
Did I mention at the moment, or previously (recently like 5 minutes ago) I died on the inside and could break down because this 14 page freaking book which is a single song is so hard and I practiced the wrong part and I'm just going to fail tomorrow at practice and never learn it and can't and it's hopeless. No. I'll do it. Goodbye sleep and social life!
I love all these people and always loom up to them so "project" doesn't really fit but I really do admire and respect them. Previously my projects were upperclassmen who now I'm friends with (projects cannot be friends, they're like a pre-friend thing for people that's it takes more time to get to know and be friends with - oh yeah, that's another characteristic of them) so now it doesn't matter as much for those upperclassmen but if I need to I'll pull out the information. A freshman was also one, probably the only one where the underlying feelings were important, but I gave up on that (oh yeah, if the friendship is futile i have to give up :( it's not so futile anymore but it isn't a big priority) so now I have two more. Added one today, but I realize we'll be friends faster than I thought but I can still study them!
The problem is who do you talk about this with?!! You just can't! Who would care so much about them??? It's useful when one of my friends wants to know about someone and I have information I've gathered subconsciously just from being around them that I can analyze quickly and give, the deepest parts are hard to discuss though. Especially since the people that have the potential to hold that convo with me are either the person themselves, hate the person, don't know the person, or are in a weird relationship to do so.
But these would be good conversations!
Did I mention at the moment, or previously (recently like 5 minutes ago) I died on the inside and could break down because this 14 page freaking book which is a single song is so hard and I practiced the wrong part and I'm just going to fail tomorrow at practice and never learn it and can't and it's hopeless. No. I'll do it. Goodbye sleep and social life!
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