:) Admiration and Hate

December 29, 2012 10:43 PM

Okay. I am writing because I have a serious problem. Is it okay just to dislike someone? Hate them even? Of course, passively (actively hating someone would need very good reason and worth) but still. Is it okay to dislike people?

I’m such a stupid good-for-nothing incompetent hideous girl. What am I doing with my life?! I have a direction I know what I want to do but I can’t! I’m so stupid! I’m freaking asking if it’s *okay* to dislike someone. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! Most people dislike someone without a second thought!!! Stupid me and my having to explain everything!! Why!! Of course it’s okay!!! No!!! Is it???? How!!! Why would you take the energy to *avoid* someone? Because they do no good for you. But they can’t just be there? No, they’re useless and if anything bring you down. Okay. Okay. So it’s okay to “avoid” people as long as it doesn’t take up too much effort because then that’s just stupid NEVER waste your time investment energy effort ect on the wrong people if you can help it! (also known as my biggest fucking downfall)

Okay. But do I have to *explain* why I dislike a person? DUH of course you son of a gun ack just die. But if I can…then it’s okay?

Okay my question really is, are there just some bad people out there in the world?

Let’s go through this. Yes, I maintain the belief that everyone has some good in them even if take a lot of digging left to bring up but it’s something you don’t lose. Wait – does that contradict my belief…that…some people are just naturally born nasty, mean, ect. I never believed that we were all connected by some form of good; I believe if it ever existed it would’ve been lost through the generations. But we all have *some* love in us right, even if it’s misguided? Damnit I should know this fucking incompetent! Okay, it doesn’t contradict. Yay.

However….if this said “good” is “lost” then…is that what creates “bad people”? (“bad people” going by my definition of a lack of usefulness overall) Now, how is it “lost”? Experiences change lives drastically. That and psychological problems. But can it just be negligence? Ignorance of character? Could a fourteen year old be such a horrible person without experiencing anything all that important (yet) in their life?

Yeah….has to be. So, an ignorance of character is fatal. Of course it is it has to be. Augh. So it’s okay! A fourteen year old is perfectly capable of hatable vileness. Yess. I can hate people!

Ah…so now do I have to explain myself? I hate dwelling on them. I with I could draw the conclusion that I loathe everyone that laughs at me. Or that it’s perfectly reasonable to dislike those that laugh at you. With you, playfully, when you make a mistake, that’s cool. When you’re below them in experience and such in a certain field or overall, not so much, unless they’re affectionate and aim to help you. Ah. Okay. I’m drawing this conclusion. Even if they don’t open laugh at you, just in general those close-minded bastards and sons-of-bitches can go

10:54 PM